Present but Depleted: The Invisible Load of Women Leaders

There is a version of burnout we do not talk about enough in school leadership.

It is not the leader who calls out.
It is not the one who steps away.

It is the one who shows up anyway.

Every meeting. Every hallway conversation. Every decision. Every crisis. Fully present on the outside, but slowly running out of energy underneath it all.

This is what research calls presenteeism. The act of being physically present at work while mentally, emotionally, or physically depleted (Johns, 2010). In many fields, presenteeism has been found to cost organizations more than absenteeism because the impact is quieter and harder to measure (Lohaus & Habermann, 2019).

In schools, it is even harder to see.

Presenteeism does not look like absence. It looks like pushing through. It looks like answering one more email late at night. It looks like handling one more situation without pause. It looks like showing up for everyone else, even when there is nothing left to give.

For women in leadership, this experience is often amplified.

Research on emotional labor shows that women leaders are more likely to absorb stress, manage relationships, and carry the emotional weight of the organization (Fitzgerald & Wilkinson, 2023). We anticipate needs. We notice shifts in tone. We hold space for others before we hold space for ourselves.

And we keep going.

That combination matters.

Because when emotional labor and presenteeism overlap, the cost is not just fatigue. It is decision fatigue. It is shortened patience. It is the quiet shift from thoughtful response to quick reaction. Over time, it impacts how we lead, how we communicate, and how we experience the work itself.

Maslach and Leiter’s research on burnout reminds us that this kind of depletion is not a personal failure. It is a response to sustained imbalance between demands and resources (Maslach & Leiter, 2016).

And in school leadership, that imbalance is constant.

The expectation to be available.
The pressure to solve.
The responsibility to hold everything together.

But here is the part that is harder to name.

Presenteeism is often rewarded.

We praise the leader who is always there. The one who never leaves early. The one who handles everything without needing support. The one who responds immediately and carries the weight without showing it.

It looks like strength.

But it is not sustainable.

And over time, it creates systems that depend on one person’s capacity instead of building collective strength.

Healthy leadership does not mean being constantly available. It means building systems, relationships, and expectations that allow the work to continue even when you step away.

It means trusting others to lead in their spaces.
It means protecting your own thinking time.
It means recognizing that stepping back is not a failure of leadership. It is part of it.

The research on recovery and performance is clear. Leaders who build in even small moments of rest and reflection make stronger decisions and sustain their effectiveness over time (Sonnentag & Fritz, 2015).

But more than research, this is something many of us feel.

There is a difference between showing up and being well enough to lead.

One keeps the day moving.
The other moves the work forward.

For women in leadership, this is especially important.

We have been conditioned to equate strength with endurance. To carry more. To stay longer. To give without pause. But leadership is not measured by how much you can absorb. It is measured by what you can build, sustain, and grow over time.

And that requires something different.

It requires boundaries.
It requires trust.
It requires the willingness to lead in a way that is not centered on constant presence.

If you have been showing up while feeling depleted, you are not alone.

You are responding to the demands of a role that asks a lot.

But the goal is not just to be present.

The goal is to be well enough to lead.

And that shift matters, not just for you, but for everyone you serve…

What that looks like in practice is not dramatic. It is small, intentional shifts that protect your capacity over time.

Protect your decision-making energy.
Not everything needs your immediate response. Give yourself space to think before reacting. Some of your best leadership happens in the pause.

Pay attention to where your presence is most needed.
Being everywhere is not the goal. Being meaningful where you are matters more. Choose the moments that build trust and move the work forward.

Let others carry what is theirs to hold.
When we take on too much, we unintentionally limit others’ growth. Trusting your team builds strength across the building, not just in one office.

Create space to reset during the day.
Even a few minutes between meetings to step away, breathe, or sit in quiet can shift how you show up in the next moment.

Notice when you are pushing through.
That awareness matters. It is often the first sign that something needs to shift before depletion becomes the norm.

None of this is about doing less…It is about creating space to lead with intention, not just endurance.

Because leadership is not measured by how much you carry.
It is measured by what you are able to build and sustain over time.

And that kind of leadership begins with taking care of the person leading.

References

Fitzgerald, T., & Wilkinson, J. (2023). Women, leadership, and emotional labour in education. Educational Management Administration & Leadership, 51(4), 567–583.

Johns, G. (2010). Presenteeism in the workplace: A review and research agenda. Journal of Organizational Behavior, 31(4), 519–542.

Lohaus, D., & Habermann, W. (2019). Presenteeism: A review and research directions. Human Resource Management Review, 29(1), 43–58.

Maslach, C., & Leiter, M. P. (2016). Understanding the burnout experience: Recent research and its implications. World Psychiatry, 15(2), 103–111.

Sonnentag, S., & Fritz, C. (2015). Recovery from job stress: The stressor-detachment model as an integrative framework. Journal of Organizational Behavior, 36(S1), S72–S103.