When Behavior Speaks: A December Reflection for Leaders

December always reveals the emotional rhythm of a school. Students feel the excitement of the season, but they also feel the stress of disrupted routines, shorter weeks, and the weight of whatever is happening in their lives outside of school. Adults feel it too. The synergy of the month changes, and we see this shift in how students behave, how staff respond, and how the overall energy in a school feels different.

It is also the time of year when discipline referrals rise. Research consistently shows that behavioral spikes appear during periods of schedule disruption, transitions, and emotional strain (Gee & Wong, 2022). These behaviors are not just choices. They are often signs of students trying to cope with stress, uncertainty, or emotional overload.

Trauma-informed research helps us understand what sits underneath these patterns. Powers and colleagues (2022) found that stress and adversity affect attention, emotional regulation, and problem solving, which directly influence how students respond to challenges in school (Powers et al., 2022). When routines shift or when school feels less predictable, students who are already carrying stress from home can struggle to adapt.

For many students, school is their most stable environment. So even small changes in structure can feel overwhelming. We see this in increased frustration, withdrawal, irritability, or a stronger need for connection. None of this is random. It is emotional communication.

And the adults feel the pull, too. Teachers and staff carry their own stories. They manage holiday expectations, financial stress, family responsibilities, and personal challenges. Research on educator well-being shows that adults absorb secondary trauma from student needs while also managing their own emotional load (Viloria et al., 2023). December intensifies that weight.

This month asks leaders to pay attention to the full picture. It asks us to notice what behavior might be signaling. It asks us to lead with awareness and care. It asks us to support staff who are trying to balance school and life. It asks us to respond with compassion without lowering expectations. The balance is part of the work.

Trauma-informed leadership is not about excusing poor behavior. It is about understanding the conditions around it and responding in ways that help students and staff regain a sense of control and connection. Recent research offers strategies that truly help:

1. Create predictability wherever possible
Transitions and disruptions heighten stress. Trauma-informed studies show that previewing changes, reviewing expectations, and maintaining consistent routines help students feel safer and more grounded (Chafouleas et al., 2021).

2. Model calm, clear communication
Leaders set the emotional tone. When adults communicate with clarity and calm, students and staff experience a sense of safety (Powers et al., 2022).

3. Build in small moments of connection
A brief check-in or positive interaction can shift the emotional direction of a student’s entire day. The same goes for our adults. Trauma-informed research confirms that connection is protective, especially during stressful periods (Chafouleas et al., 2021).

4. Offer regulation strategies without drawing attention
Short breathing exercises, movement breaks, and quiet resets help students regain emotional balance and reduce escalation. These strategies support adults, too.

5. Give staff space to name what they are carrying
Viloria and colleagues found that when educators feel supported and emotionally understood, their well-being and effectiveness increase (Viloria et al., 2023).

If you are a leader navigating this season, you may be feeling the emotional weight of it all. This is a different kind of tired. It comes from responding to students who need more than they can express and supporting adults who continue to show up even when their own lives feel full. It comes from holding responsibility for the emotional climate of a school while trying to make room for your own needs.

So here is my reminder to you…

Your presence matters. Your ability to notice what sits beneath behavior matters. Your patience, your awareness, and your care make more of a difference than you may realize. Students may not always show it, but they feel it when a leader believes in them. Staff may not say it out loud, but they lean on the consistency and compassion you offer.

As we move through December, give students a sense of understanding as routines shift. Give staff room to breathe as they balance their own lives. And give yourself grace as you lead through a month that carries more emotion than most people see.

The work you are doing is meaningful. It shapes the experience of students and adults in ways that last long beyond this season. Keep leading with heart. It is the kind of leadership that quietly changes the course of someone’s day and sometimes their life…

References

Chafouleas, S. M., et al. (2021). Creating trauma-informed schools: A review of evidence-based practices. School Mental Health, 13, 359–374.

Gee, K. A., & Wong, K. K. (2022). Predictable patterns of student behavior across the academic year. Journal of School Health, 92(4), 357–366.

Powers, K., Lawson, M. A., & Salazar, C. F. (2022). Trauma-informed practices in schools. School Psychology Review, 51(3), 345–360.

Viloria, J., Gonzalez, M., & Warren, C. A. (2023). Educator well-being and secondary traumatic stress. Teaching and Teacher Education, 124, 104043.