Tonight’s Homework Assignment: The Sunday Scaries

It starts quietly…the sunlight fades, the inbox fills, and your mind begins to wander to Monday. The lesson plans, the meetings, the emails you meant to send. The weekend feels too short, and suddenly you are already back in the rhythm of the week. The “Sunday Scaries” are real, and they touch nearly everyone in education…teachers, counselors, and administrators alike.

For teachers, it might be the mental load of planning, grading, or worrying about a student who’s been struggling. For leaders, it might be the weight of the week ahead, knowing how much depends on our calm and clarity. At every level, we carry the invisible work of care…and sometimes, that care follows us home.

I used to think the Sunday Scaries were just part of loving your job too much. Over time, I realized they were something deeper. They were my mind’s way of preparing for impact, of bracing for the energy it takes to hold space for others. That anticipation is common in education because our work is human. We are not just planning lessons or meetings. We are preparing to show up for people.

Research on anticipatory stress confirms what many educators already feel. Even thinking about work demands can trigger the same physiological response as the stress itself. For teachers and school leaders, those demands are often emotional, not just logistical. We carry empathy, worry, and a deep desire to make a difference. That combination makes our work meaningful but also exhausting.

What has helped me, both as a leader and as a person, is learning to use Sunday evening not as the end of rest, but as the beginning of a reset. Instead of letting anxiety fill the space, I’ve built small rituals that ground me for the week ahead.

Plan the purpose, not just the tasks.
Before diving into lesson plans or meetings, take a moment to name one intention for the week. It might be patience, connection, or presence. Purpose brings calm where pressure builds.

Reflect instead of rehearse.
Instead of running through what could go wrong, spend a few minutes remembering what went well the week before. Gratitude quiets the nervous system and shifts focus from fear to strength.

Protect the last hour.
Turn off notifications. Walk the dog. Make a cup of tea. Whatever you choose, claim the final hour of your weekend as your own. It reminds you that life outside of work deserves your attention too.

Reach out, don’t retreat.
If Sunday nights feel heavy, talk about it. Share that reality with a trusted colleague, partner, or friend. The Sunday Scaries lose their power when we name them.

We teach best and lead best when we start from a place of peace. The Sunday Scaries are not a weakness. They are a reminder that what we do matters deeply. When we learn to listen to that feeling and respond with intention, we give ourselves and each other permission to begin the week with balance, not burnout.

So tonight’s homework assignment is simple.
Pause. Breathe. Reflect on what went well and what you are grateful for. Let your thoughts settle and your focus return to what truly matters. You are grounded, capable, and ready for a new week filled with possibilities!

If you need a way to reset before Monday, try this 10-Minute Grounding Body Scan Meditation. It’s one I often use on Sunday nights to quiet my thoughts and begin the week with calm and clarity.

The Hidden Curriculum of Leadership: Modeling Emotional Regulation for Staff and Students

Every day as a principal, I am reminded that leadership is emotional work. The hallway conversations, the student conflicts, the moments when teachers need reassurance all carry weight. What I model in those moments matters just as much as what I say. The truth is that we teach emotional regulation long before we ever use the term. Our tone, our body language, and the pauses between words become lessons for the people we lead.

Through experience, I have learned that calm is contagious. When I center myself before a difficult conversation, I can feel the energy shift in the room. That awareness did not come naturally. It came from moments when I reacted too quickly, when my own frustration took the lead, and I saw the impact ripple through others. Leadership, especially in schools, demands emotional steadiness not because perfection is expected, but because people look to us for cues on how to respond to uncertainty.

Research continues to show what many of us know intuitively. Emotional intelligence is foundational to healthy schools. Studies on leadership and well-being highlight that when leaders regulate their emotions effectively, staff stress decreases and collective trust increases. Daniel Goleman and Marc Brackett have both emphasized the power of emotional awareness. Brackett’s RULER framework shows that recognizing, understanding, labeling, expressing, and regulating emotions leads to stronger relationships and more effective learning environments. When leaders embody these skills, they create cultures where people feel safe enough to be human.

In my own school, I have seen how this plays out. When teachers feel supported, they extend that same patience and empathy to students. When I take time to listen rather than rush to fix, it communicates that emotional honesty is not a weakness. It is part of the work. Our ability to lead with emotional intelligence does more than reduce stress. It transforms the way our communities function.

Here are a few practices that have helped me strengthen emotional regulation in leadership.

Create intentional listening time. I block a few minutes after meetings to truly hear what people are saying, not just what they report. I resist the urge to multitask or plan my response. This builds trust faster than any initiative ever could.

Pause before responding. I use what I call the two-breath pause. The first breath is to notice what I am feeling and the second is to choose how to respond. That small space between reaction and response has preserved many relationships.

Model emotional transparency. When I acknowledge a hard day or share that I need a moment to regroup, it gives others permission to do the same. It is not about vulnerability for its own sake. It is about modeling balance.

Integrate emotion skills into adult spaces. Quick mood check-ins at staff meetings or reflection prompts in PLCs remind everyone that emotional awareness belongs in professional settings, too.

Protect your own regulation. Leadership often means absorbing the emotions of others. I have learned that I cannot lead well when I am depleted. Stepping outside between meetings, taking a short walk, or finding a quiet minute to breathe is not self-indulgent. It is leadership maintenance.

Emotional regulation is not about control. It is about awareness. The most powerful leaders I know are not the loudest or the most unshakable. They are the ones who stay grounded when things get hard, who make people feel safe enough to be honest, and who remind us that empathy and excellence can coexist.

Each moment we choose presence over reaction, we strengthen the culture around us. When we lead with calm and compassion, we do more than guide a school. We show others what it means to lead with heart and courage, and that is what lasting leadership looks like.