Why Good Leadership Starts With SEL

I have been thinking about how much social and emotional learning reflects the core of good leadership. When students learn SEL skills, they practice the same habits adults need in order to lead with clarity, steadiness, and care.

As I continue my doctoral work, I see more clearly how SEL connects to the work of women in leadership. SEL is not just something students learn. It mirrors the emotional and relational skills leaders use every day.

Self-Awareness Helps Leaders Stay Grounded

Recent research highlights the importance of self-awareness in school leadership. Sepiriti’s study on emotional intelligence describes how principals who understand their own emotions are more effective at responding to challenges, supporting others, and building a positive school climate (Sepiriti, 2023).

Self-awareness helps leaders notice what they are feeling, understand why, and choose how they want to respond. It is not overthinking. It is clarity. It is being present enough to lead with purpose instead of reacting out of stress.

Self-Management Helps Leaders Respond With Intention

SEL teaches students to pause, regulate emotions, and organize their thinking. Leaders need the same habits.
Sepiriti found that emotional intelligence competencies, including self-management, help principals communicate more effectively and lead schools with steadier, more intentional decision making.

Leaders who manage their emotions well build trust. They help create work environments where people feel comfortable being honest, asking questions, and sharing ideas.

Social Awareness Helps Leaders Understand the People They Serve

One of the strongest connections between SEL and leadership is social awareness. Showunmi’s research on women leaders emphasizes how identity, context, and lived experience shape how women understand and support others (Showunmi, 2021).

Social awareness helps leaders:
• see beyond the surface
• understand the emotional landscape of a school
• notice subtle cues in relationships
• respond with empathy and fairness

This is not softness. It is skilled, informed leadership.

Relationship Skills Build Strong Communities

Strong relationships are at the center of leadership. Speranza and Gilmour describe women’s leadership as relational, collaborative, and grounded in authenticity (Speranza & Gilmour, 2021).

Relationship skills help leaders:
• listen deeply
• communicate with clarity
• support others’ growth
• build trust through consistency

When leaders invest in strong, healthy relationships, the entire school culture strengthens.

Responsible Decision-Making Helps Leaders Act With Purpose

SEL teaches students how to evaluate choices, consider consequences, and make decisions with care. Leadership requires the same practice.

Research on women’s leadership emphasizes acting from identity, values, and purpose—qualities that guide ethical, thoughtful decision making (Showunmi, 2021; Speranza & Gilmour, 2021).

Purpose-driven decisions ground a school. Value-based choices build credibility. Over time, these decisions shape how people experience leadership.

How This Connects Back to Leadership

SEL mirrors the skills leaders rely on every day:
self-awareness
self-management
social awareness
relationship skills
purposeful decision making

These are the skills that help leaders stay centered, steady, and focused on what matters. They also help leaders support others with care and intention.

Women lead with strength, emotional intelligence, and connection. SEL gives language to the leadership qualities many women already use intuitively.

Good leadership is built through daily practice. It grows each time we choose awareness over reaction and purpose over pressure. It strengthens when we understand ourselves and the people we lead. When leaders stay aware, stay intentional, and lift others, they create leadership that lasts. Leadership that feels human, steady, and real.

References

Sepiriti, K. (2023). Considering emotional intelligence as a leadership competency for Lesotho secondary school principals. European Journal of Educational Management, 6(1), 52–64.

Showunmi, V. (2021). A journey of difference: The voices of women leaders. Frontiers in Education, 6, 548870.

Speranza, A., & Gilmour, J. D. (2021). Ways of seeing women’s leadership in education. Frontiers in Education, 6, 781049.