The Psychology of Perseverance in Women’s Leadership

When people talk about perseverance in leadership, they often picture grit or toughness. The truth is more human than that. Perseverance usually starts with meaning. It grows in the quiet moments when we remember why the work matters. It shows up when purpose feels stronger than pressure.

Perseverance is not loud. It lives in the small choices that never make it into reports or agendas. It shows up in the patient conversation at the end of a long day. It appears in the moment you steady yourself before you respond. It grows each time you return to your values when everything around you feels heavy.

Psychology offers another lens. Meaning acts as an anchor that keeps us steady during demanding moments. Park writes that when people connect their experiences to purpose, they show more clarity and hope in the face of challenge. Steger explains that meaning gives people a sense of direction, especially during uncertain times. Their work helps us stay grounded when everything else feels chaotic. It is a core part of how leaders stay grounded.

Women in school leadership often experience this in a unique way. Purpose is shaped through connection and relationships. It comes from the community we build and the people we serve. Studies in leadership and psychology show that women often draw strength from connection, collaboration, and purpose, and these relational qualities help sustain perseverance over time. Coleman found that women leaders often rely on values and identity to guide them through difficult situations. Oplatka and Tamir showed how relationships influence career decisions and commitment. Young and Skrla explained that women use relational strength to navigate expectations that are often invisible. A recent study by Nkosi found that mentoring, networking, and collaborative support help women leaders push through gendered challenges in their work.

In schools, purpose is woven into everything we do. It shows in the student who grows in confidence because of a quiet check-in. It shows in the teacher who feels seen because you stopped to listen. It shows in the pride you feel when your school community grows together. These moments build meaning that strengthens your leadership over time.

Perseverance does not require you to be unbreakable. It asks you to stay connected to why you lead. It grows when you honor your values and take the next right step with intention. Meaning gives us strength that lasts beyond difficult days.

If you are a woman in school leadership, remember that your perseverance is not measured by how much you take on; it is measured by how much you accomplish. It is shaped by how you stay rooted in purpose. The meaning you create each day is already building resilience in ways that matter. You may not always see it, but it is there in every connection, every moment of clarity, and every steady breath before you continue.

References

Coleman, M. (2005). Gender and headship in the twenty first century. Gender and Education, 17(3), 303–318.

Nkosi, M. Z. (2024). Breaking barriers and building bridges. Research in Educational Policy and Management, 6(1), 1–23.

Oplatka, I., & Tamir, V. (2009). I do not want to become a school principal. Educational Management Administration and Leadership, 37(1), 81–95.

Park, C. L. (2010). Making sense of the meaning literature. Psychological Bulletin, 136(2), 257–301.

Steger, M. F. (2012). Making meaning in life. Psychological Inquiry, 23(4), 381–385.

Young, M. D., & Skrla, L. (2011). Revisiting the gendered nature of educational leadership. Routledge.

The Circle: Why Women Leaders Need Each Other

Leadership can feel lonely even when you are surrounded by people. As a woman in school leadership, I have felt the quiet weight that comes with holding both the vision and the emotions of a community. What has carried me through has never been a new system or initiative. It has been the women who stand beside me. The circle.

The circle is not a formal network or another meeting on the calendar. It is a small group of women who tell the truth, celebrate progress, and remind you who you are when the week tries to make you forget. It is the space where you can admit that something feels heavy and hear, “You are not alone.”

I am a principal, a mom, a wife, a doctoral student, and a writer. I cannot do this work in isolation. My circle keeps me grounded, honest, and hopeful. We share resources. We share stories. We share the work of caring for others while caring for ourselves. When one of us struggles, the others step closer.

Recent research confirms what many women leaders already know intuitively: connection is not a luxury. It is essential for growth and sustainability. A 2024 study of women’s communities of practice found that small, peer-based groups built on trust and shared reflection strengthened confidence, problem-solving, and professional identity (Bone et al., 2024). Another study showed that when women educators meet in “brave spaces,” they develop stronger voices, more authentic collaboration, and greater professional confidence (Cunningham & Garvey, 2025). An article from the National Association of Elementary School Principals identified mentoring, networking, and self-care as the three most critical supports for sustaining women in leadership (NAESP, 2024).

These findings echo what I see every day. Women leaders thrive when they connect with others who understand the complexity of their work. These networks not only protect well-being but also strengthen schools through shared purpose and perspective.

Researchers call this relational leadership…the idea that leadership grows through trust, respect, and connection rather than control (Uhl-Bien, 2006). Studies on collective efficacy show that when groups believe in their shared ability to make a difference, schools perform better (Bandura, 1997; Goddard, 2000). When women come together to share their experiences and strengths, they are not simply supporting one another. They are building a shared sense of purpose that strengthens entire communities.

This idea connects closely to communities of practice, a model developed by Etienne Wenger and William Snyder (2000), which describes how professionals learn through conversation and shared reflection. Circles like these turn support into strategy. They transform connections into professional growth.

There is also growing recognition that relational well-being is a pillar of sustainable leadership. Rita McHugh’s Framework of Occupational Well-Being (2023) and OECD’s global research on educator well-being (2024, 2025) both highlight the quality of professional relationships as one of the strongest predictors of leader health, motivation, and retention. The circle meets that need directly. It transforms connection into clarity and belonging into balance.

Here are a few ways to create a circle that builds both well-being and leadership strength.

Start small and be intentional.
Invite two or three women whose presence feels genuine and kind. Choose women who value honesty, curiosity, and growth. Different perspectives make your conversations richer.

Name the purpose clearly.
Say what the circle is for. Encouragement. Reflection. Courage. Growth. Connection. Clarity of purpose keeps the time meaningful.

Protect the time.
Meet regularly, even briefly. Forty-five minutes every other week can shift the tone of your leadership and remind you that you are not doing this work alone.

Structure the reflection.
Ask three simple questions: What is working? What feels heavy? What is one next step? End by choosing one word to carry into the week such as calm, hope, or focus.

Create psychological safety.
Amy Edmondson’s research indicates that teams learn most effectively when individuals feel safe enough to speak openly (Edmondson, 1999). Protect confidentiality, listen without judgment, and ask before offering advice.

Celebrate success.
Women often move quickly past what went well. Take time to notice it. A difficult conversation handled with care. A student breakthrough. A staff meeting that left people inspired. Naming success builds confidence and keeps purpose alive.

Extend the impact.
Once your circle feels grounded, mentor an emerging woman leader together. Research continues to show that mentoring and sponsorship directly improve women’s confidence, satisfaction, and retention in educational leadership (Ely, Ibarra, & Kolb, 2011; NAESP, 2024). Each new connection widens the path for others.

What the circle offers is more than encouragement. It is a professional learning model that turns reflection into insight and connection into action. It strengthens emotional health, builds leadership capacity, and reminds us that strength grows through community, not competition.

If you are reading this and wishing you had a circle, start one. Send the first message. Invite two women for coffee. Share this post as your beginning. Start small. Start soon.

When women lead together, schools change. Teams grow stronger. Students feel the difference. The circle is not a luxury. It is how we last. It is how we lead. It is how we keep our hearts in the work and our eyes on what matters most!

References

Bandura, A. (1997). Self-efficacy: The exercise of control. W. H. Freeman.

Bone, E. K., Huber, E., Gribble, L., Lys, I., Dickson-Deane, C., Campbell, C., Yu, P., Markauskaite, L., Carvalho, L., & Brown, C. (2024). A community-based practice for the co-development of women academic leaders. Studies in Continuing Education. Advance online publication.

Cunningham, R., & Garvey, P. (2025). Communities of practice as “brave spaces” for women teachers. Teachers and Teaching: Theory and Practice. Advance online publication.

Edmondson, A. C. (1999). Psychological safety and learning behavior in work teams. Administrative Science Quarterly, 44(2), 350–383. https://doi.org/10.2307/2666999

Ely, R. J., Ibarra, H., & Kolb, D. M. (2011). Taking gender into account: Theory and design for women’s leadership development programs. Academy of Management Learning & Education, 10(3), 474–493. https://doi.org/10.5465/amle.2010.0046

Goddard, R. D. (2000). Collective teacher efficacy: Its meaning, measure, and impact on student achievement. American Educational Research Journal, 37(2), 479–507. https://doi.org/10.3102/00028312037002479

McHugh, R. (2023). A six-component conceptualization of the psychosocial well-being of school leaders: Devising a framework of occupational well-being for Irish primary principals [Doctoral dissertation, Hibernia College]. Hibernia College Repository.

National Association of Elementary School Principals. (2024, January 8). Slowly climbing the leadership ladder. Principal Magazine. https://www.naesp.org/resource/slowly-climbing-the-leadership-ladder

Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development. (2024). Teachers’ well-being: A framework for data collection and analysis (Education Working Paper No. 213). OECD Publishing.

Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development. (2025). Results from TALIS 2024. OECD Publishing.

Uhl-Bien, M. (2006). Relational leadership theory: Exploring the social processes of leadership and organizing. The Leadership Quarterly, 17(6), 654–676. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.leaqua.2006.10.007

Wenger, E. C., & Snyder, W. M. (2000). Communities of practice: The organizational frontier. Harvard Business Review, 78(1), 139–145.

Tonight’s Homework Assignment: The Sunday Scaries

It starts quietly…the sunlight fades, the inbox fills, and your mind begins to wander to Monday. The lesson plans, the meetings, the emails you meant to send. The weekend feels too short, and suddenly you are already back in the rhythm of the week. The “Sunday Scaries” are real, and they touch nearly everyone in education…teachers, counselors, and administrators alike.

For teachers, it might be the mental load of planning, grading, or worrying about a student who’s been struggling. For leaders, it might be the weight of the week ahead, knowing how much depends on our calm and clarity. At every level, we carry the invisible work of care…and sometimes, that care follows us home.

I used to think the Sunday Scaries were just part of loving your job too much. Over time, I realized they were something deeper. They were my mind’s way of preparing for impact, of bracing for the energy it takes to hold space for others. That anticipation is common in education because our work is human. We are not just planning lessons or meetings. We are preparing to show up for people.

Research on anticipatory stress confirms what many educators already feel. Even thinking about work demands can trigger the same physiological response as the stress itself. For teachers and school leaders, those demands are often emotional, not just logistical. We carry empathy, worry, and a deep desire to make a difference. That combination makes our work meaningful but also exhausting.

What has helped me, both as a leader and as a person, is learning to use Sunday evening not as the end of rest, but as the beginning of a reset. Instead of letting anxiety fill the space, I’ve built small rituals that ground me for the week ahead.

Plan the purpose, not just the tasks.
Before diving into lesson plans or meetings, take a moment to name one intention for the week. It might be patience, connection, or presence. Purpose brings calm where pressure builds.

Reflect instead of rehearse.
Instead of running through what could go wrong, spend a few minutes remembering what went well the week before. Gratitude quiets the nervous system and shifts focus from fear to strength.

Protect the last hour.
Turn off notifications. Walk the dog. Make a cup of tea. Whatever you choose, claim the final hour of your weekend as your own. It reminds you that life outside of work deserves your attention too.

Reach out, don’t retreat.
If Sunday nights feel heavy, talk about it. Share that reality with a trusted colleague, partner, or friend. The Sunday Scaries lose their power when we name them.

We teach best and lead best when we start from a place of peace. The Sunday Scaries are not a weakness. They are a reminder that what we do matters deeply. When we learn to listen to that feeling and respond with intention, we give ourselves and each other permission to begin the week with balance, not burnout.

So tonight’s homework assignment is simple.
Pause. Breathe. Reflect on what went well and what you are grateful for. Let your thoughts settle and your focus return to what truly matters. You are grounded, capable, and ready for a new week filled with possibilities!

If you need a way to reset before Monday, try this 10-Minute Grounding Body Scan Meditation. It’s one I often use on Sunday nights to quiet my thoughts and begin the week with calm and clarity.

The Hidden Curriculum of Leadership: Modeling Emotional Regulation for Staff and Students

Every day as a principal, I am reminded that leadership is emotional work. The hallway conversations, the student conflicts, the moments when teachers need reassurance all carry weight. What I model in those moments matters just as much as what I say. The truth is that we teach emotional regulation long before we ever use the term. Our tone, our body language, and the pauses between words become lessons for the people we lead.

Through experience, I have learned that calm is contagious. When I center myself before a difficult conversation, I can feel the energy shift in the room. That awareness did not come naturally. It came from moments when I reacted too quickly, when my own frustration took the lead, and I saw the impact ripple through others. Leadership, especially in schools, demands emotional steadiness not because perfection is expected, but because people look to us for cues on how to respond to uncertainty.

Research continues to show what many of us know intuitively. Emotional intelligence is foundational to healthy schools. Studies on leadership and well-being highlight that when leaders regulate their emotions effectively, staff stress decreases and collective trust increases. Daniel Goleman and Marc Brackett have both emphasized the power of emotional awareness. Brackett’s RULER framework shows that recognizing, understanding, labeling, expressing, and regulating emotions leads to stronger relationships and more effective learning environments. When leaders embody these skills, they create cultures where people feel safe enough to be human.

In my own school, I have seen how this plays out. When teachers feel supported, they extend that same patience and empathy to students. When I take time to listen rather than rush to fix, it communicates that emotional honesty is not a weakness. It is part of the work. Our ability to lead with emotional intelligence does more than reduce stress. It transforms the way our communities function.

Here are a few practices that have helped me strengthen emotional regulation in leadership.

Create intentional listening time. I block a few minutes after meetings to truly hear what people are saying, not just what they report. I resist the urge to multitask or plan my response. This builds trust faster than any initiative ever could.

Pause before responding. I use what I call the two-breath pause. The first breath is to notice what I am feeling and the second is to choose how to respond. That small space between reaction and response has preserved many relationships.

Model emotional transparency. When I acknowledge a hard day or share that I need a moment to regroup, it gives others permission to do the same. It is not about vulnerability for its own sake. It is about modeling balance.

Integrate emotion skills into adult spaces. Quick mood check-ins at staff meetings or reflection prompts in PLCs remind everyone that emotional awareness belongs in professional settings, too.

Protect your own regulation. Leadership often means absorbing the emotions of others. I have learned that I cannot lead well when I am depleted. Stepping outside between meetings, taking a short walk, or finding a quiet minute to breathe is not self-indulgent. It is leadership maintenance.

Emotional regulation is not about control. It is about awareness. The most powerful leaders I know are not the loudest or the most unshakable. They are the ones who stay grounded when things get hard, who make people feel safe enough to be honest, and who remind us that empathy and excellence can coexist.

Each moment we choose presence over reaction, we strengthen the culture around us. When we lead with calm and compassion, we do more than guide a school. We show others what it means to lead with heart and courage, and that is what lasting leadership looks like.