A Thanksgiving Reflection on the Daily Work We Do

Thanksgiving came and went, and like many leaders in schools, I found myself thinking about the work we do and the people who do it every day. This time of year always pulls me into a quieter kind of gratitude. Not the gratitude that comes from a big celebration, but the kind that grows from small moments, quiet progress, and the steady effort that holds a school together.

Our jobs are hard. They stretch us in ways that most people never see. We carry hundreds of stories, hopes, worries and situations in our minds while trying to create a place where students feel safe, supported, and ready to grow. The pressure can feel heavy at times. Yet the work remains some of the most meaningful work anyone can do.

What I kept coming back to this Thanksgiving is how leadership is often about impact we cannot measure in the moment. Not every change is visible right away. Not every success is loud. Much of what we build in our schools is felt long before it is seen.

We see it in the student who slowly finds confidence.
We see it in the student who finally asks for help.
We see it in the student who begins to believe in their own potential.

These moments are real, even when they are quiet.

As educators and leaders, we plant seeds we may not watch grow. We create systems, relationships, and structures that shape students long after they leave our classrooms and hallways. Sometimes we are fortunate enough to see the impact years later when a former student comes back to visit. They share who they have become. They share the moment, the teacher, or the experience that helped shift something in them. They tell us that something we did stayed with them.

Those moments are reminders of why the work matters. They are reminders that our presence has weight. They are reminders that our choices ripple out in ways we may never fully know.

This Thanksgiving, I felt grateful for that privilege. I felt grateful for the teachers who show up with heart even on the hard days. I felt grateful for the staff who work quietly behind the scenes to keep a school running. I felt grateful for the students who trust us with their stories and their growth. And I felt grateful for the chance to lead in a place where the work is challenging, meaningful, and deeply human.

The work we do is not always easy, but it is always important. It shapes lives. It creates opportunities. It opens futures. And even when we cannot see the full impact, we can feel it.

As we move into the rest of the school year, my hope is that we hold on to those moments of gratitude. They steady us. They remind us of the bigger picture. And they help us keep leading with clarity, compassion, and purpose.

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone who gives their heart to this work. You make more of a difference than you realize!

The Psychology of Perseverance in Women’s Leadership

When people talk about perseverance in leadership, they often picture grit or toughness. The truth is more human than that. Perseverance usually starts with meaning. It grows in the quiet moments when we remember why the work matters. It shows up when purpose feels stronger than pressure.

Perseverance is not loud. It lives in the small choices that never make it into reports or agendas. It shows up in the patient conversation at the end of a long day. It appears in the moment you steady yourself before you respond. It grows each time you return to your values when everything around you feels heavy.

Psychology offers another lens. Meaning acts as an anchor that keeps us steady during demanding moments. Park writes that when people connect their experiences to purpose, they show more clarity and hope in the face of challenge. Steger explains that meaning gives people a sense of direction, especially during uncertain times. Their work helps us stay grounded when everything else feels chaotic. It is a core part of how leaders stay grounded.

Women in school leadership often experience this in a unique way. Purpose is shaped through connection and relationships. It comes from the community we build and the people we serve. Studies in leadership and psychology show that women often draw strength from connection, collaboration, and purpose, and these relational qualities help sustain perseverance over time. Coleman found that women leaders often rely on values and identity to guide them through difficult situations. Oplatka and Tamir showed how relationships influence career decisions and commitment. Young and Skrla explained that women use relational strength to navigate expectations that are often invisible. A recent study by Nkosi found that mentoring, networking, and collaborative support help women leaders push through gendered challenges in their work.

In schools, purpose is woven into everything we do. It shows in the student who grows in confidence because of a quiet check-in. It shows in the teacher who feels seen because you stopped to listen. It shows in the pride you feel when your school community grows together. These moments build meaning that strengthens your leadership over time.

Perseverance does not require you to be unbreakable. It asks you to stay connected to why you lead. It grows when you honor your values and take the next right step with intention. Meaning gives us strength that lasts beyond difficult days.

If you are a woman in school leadership, remember that your perseverance is not measured by how much you take on; it is measured by how much you accomplish. It is shaped by how you stay rooted in purpose. The meaning you create each day is already building resilience in ways that matter. You may not always see it, but it is there in every connection, every moment of clarity, and every steady breath before you continue.

References

Coleman, M. (2005). Gender and headship in the twenty first century. Gender and Education, 17(3), 303–318.

Nkosi, M. Z. (2024). Breaking barriers and building bridges. Research in Educational Policy and Management, 6(1), 1–23.

Oplatka, I., & Tamir, V. (2009). I do not want to become a school principal. Educational Management Administration and Leadership, 37(1), 81–95.

Park, C. L. (2010). Making sense of the meaning literature. Psychological Bulletin, 136(2), 257–301.

Steger, M. F. (2012). Making meaning in life. Psychological Inquiry, 23(4), 381–385.

Young, M. D., & Skrla, L. (2011). Revisiting the gendered nature of educational leadership. Routledge.

The Hidden Curriculum of Leadership: Modeling Emotional Regulation for Staff and Students

Every day as a principal, I am reminded that leadership is emotional work. The hallway conversations, the student conflicts, the moments when teachers need reassurance all carry weight. What I model in those moments matters just as much as what I say. The truth is that we teach emotional regulation long before we ever use the term. Our tone, our body language, and the pauses between words become lessons for the people we lead.

Through experience, I have learned that calm is contagious. When I center myself before a difficult conversation, I can feel the energy shift in the room. That awareness did not come naturally. It came from moments when I reacted too quickly, when my own frustration took the lead, and I saw the impact ripple through others. Leadership, especially in schools, demands emotional steadiness not because perfection is expected, but because people look to us for cues on how to respond to uncertainty.

Research continues to show what many of us know intuitively. Emotional intelligence is foundational to healthy schools. Studies on leadership and well-being highlight that when leaders regulate their emotions effectively, staff stress decreases and collective trust increases. Daniel Goleman and Marc Brackett have both emphasized the power of emotional awareness. Brackett’s RULER framework shows that recognizing, understanding, labeling, expressing, and regulating emotions leads to stronger relationships and more effective learning environments. When leaders embody these skills, they create cultures where people feel safe enough to be human.

In my own school, I have seen how this plays out. When teachers feel supported, they extend that same patience and empathy to students. When I take time to listen rather than rush to fix, it communicates that emotional honesty is not a weakness. It is part of the work. Our ability to lead with emotional intelligence does more than reduce stress. It transforms the way our communities function.

Here are a few practices that have helped me strengthen emotional regulation in leadership.

Create intentional listening time. I block a few minutes after meetings to truly hear what people are saying, not just what they report. I resist the urge to multitask or plan my response. This builds trust faster than any initiative ever could.

Pause before responding. I use what I call the two-breath pause. The first breath is to notice what I am feeling and the second is to choose how to respond. That small space between reaction and response has preserved many relationships.

Model emotional transparency. When I acknowledge a hard day or share that I need a moment to regroup, it gives others permission to do the same. It is not about vulnerability for its own sake. It is about modeling balance.

Integrate emotion skills into adult spaces. Quick mood check-ins at staff meetings or reflection prompts in PLCs remind everyone that emotional awareness belongs in professional settings, too.

Protect your own regulation. Leadership often means absorbing the emotions of others. I have learned that I cannot lead well when I am depleted. Stepping outside between meetings, taking a short walk, or finding a quiet minute to breathe is not self-indulgent. It is leadership maintenance.

Emotional regulation is not about control. It is about awareness. The most powerful leaders I know are not the loudest or the most unshakable. They are the ones who stay grounded when things get hard, who make people feel safe enough to be honest, and who remind us that empathy and excellence can coexist.

Each moment we choose presence over reaction, we strengthen the culture around us. When we lead with calm and compassion, we do more than guide a school. We show others what it means to lead with heart and courage, and that is what lasting leadership looks like.